do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
