Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I got chris browned last night
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
