That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
