pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
