the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
