if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
