If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
