ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
