Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i think i have two assholes
if only i could text you this smell
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You need a sexual gate keeper
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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