If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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