She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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