Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize