4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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