so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
