Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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