nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
