His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
