I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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