you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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