I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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