i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
