Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize