the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
