Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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