Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He better not be in your backpack
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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