he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
