I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
