I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
