Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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