and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
