Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
