her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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