I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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