No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
