I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
