We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
