Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just had sex bonerless
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
