I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
