We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
