idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Randomize
