You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
