she looked like the before picture.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
