once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
my liver is dry heaving
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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