Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
