She announced her abortion via fbk
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Holy shit dude........stairs
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
