clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
