What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
