Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
