I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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