I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
