I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
