"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
