Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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