i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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