The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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