Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
