matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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