Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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