I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
