My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
