It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
