so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I still have a little drunk in my system
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
false alarm, still single
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
