yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize