I forgot how hot balto sounded
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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