you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
