omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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