hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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