Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you win again, gameday.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
