Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
