did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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