you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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