ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
