How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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