It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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