quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
