you win again, gameday.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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