so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
