i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
