Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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