the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
